I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
