Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
