I am puke
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I am available for nakedness
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
