Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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