This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
