At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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