Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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