you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
