If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
