You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
