the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
