He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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