My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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