these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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