Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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