Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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