I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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