I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
