Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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