even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
