That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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