need another drink. this is the easiest way
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
