Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Where is the hickey?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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