dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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