No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
