WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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