The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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