HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
