The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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