Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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