hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
