So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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