So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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