Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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