so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
