mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He better not be in your backpack
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
