i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize