singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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