i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
