i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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