Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
