She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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