I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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