Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
