Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
