on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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