Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
