i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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