Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize