Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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