just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
