so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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