he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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