Are we in a gay sports bar?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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