we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
