For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
