If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
