my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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