god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
