i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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