I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
