And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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