I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
